


Dracu-Con

by Changeling_Lili



Category: Dracula & Related Fandoms
Genre: All The Draculas, Crack, Gen, If I didn't specify one don't worry he's still there, Silly, Yes all of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28340964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Changeling_Lili/pseuds/Changeling_Lili
Summary: Things get exciting at the Con when Dracula shows up. No, not that Dracula. No, not that one either.
Kudos: 1





	Dracu-Con

Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) pressed the button for the elevator, eager to get to the convention floor. He’d already gotten settled into his hotel room, and dressed in his more casual cape for the first day of con. No matter how many times he attended, this con was a highlight of the year. Being able to attend workshops and panels, catch up with his friends and peers, and just generally be in the festive atmosphere – all of it made the long trip and the hassle of parking in the city worth it.

The elevator doors slid open, revealing an oddly familiar man. Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) stepped in, nodding at him, and noted the button for the lobby was already lit up. As the elevator descended, Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) kept sneaking looks at the other passenger. He certainly wasn’t a Dracula, but he was tall enough. Not only that, but his face was uncanny . . . too late -- he’d caught Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) looking. No hiding it now. His eyes were the same rich brown, and when he smiled, it was like looking into a tweed-clad mirror. 

The doors opened and the men entered the lobby after an awkward negotiation of nods and gestures to determine who’d go first. They both strode to the concierge desk, which was manned by a hotel worker and boasted large signs announcing the weekend’s events. The hotel clerk looked up, stared for a moment, then chuckled.

“I thought this might turn confusing – we’ve never hosted both events on the same weekend before! Let’s see . . . you,” she nodded at Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973), “will be registering over there.” she pointed toward the DRACU-CON sign stationed at the front of one hallway. “And you,” she nodded at the gentleman in tweed, “will be following this sign to the west elevator bank and you’ll see the table set up there.” HOLMES CON read the sign in question – now that was odd. “Have a great weekend!”

Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) certainly would have a great weekend. He picked up his con badge and a programming schedule and headed for the main ballroom. This Friday night would kick off with a meet and greet which would include the introduction of everyone up for President this year. As soon as he entered the room Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) saw the current president waving him over.

“My friend! We are so glad to see you again!” Dracula (1931) had already secured the best table in the room along with Dracula (1992). The three of them had long enjoyed the privilege and attention that came with being the undisputed Cool Kids of the community. Not that other people didn’t sometimes try.

“Ugh, can you believe him?” Dracula (1992) nodded at Dracula (Penny Dreadful, season 3), who had just entered the room and was passing near their table. “He thinks he’s so hot.”

“Can’t you just admit you have a crush on him? Maybe you should ask him to sit with us?” Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) couldn’t resist. He’d grown used to his friend trying to pretend he was heterosexual, despite the fact that wasting your immortality on being straight just didn’t make any sense.

“Maybe he should go sit with them,” said Dracula (1992), gesturing at the Nosferatu table. He flicked his luxuriant hair over one shoulder and glared at the two bald vampires who were deep in conversation. 

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, please!” Dracula (1931) interrupted. “I must tell you that Orlock/Dracula (1922) is in fact running for president of our little club this year. And I for one, as I step down, plan to offer him my support.”

“Nonsense, he isn’t even a real Dracula!” sneered Dracula (1992).

“I should argue that his is, though.” said Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973). “It all depends on which title cards happen to have been added in to whichever print of his film one finds oneself watching. And besides, wasn’t it all down to some copyright nonsense?”

“Copyright!” Dracula (BBC 1977) had been wandering by the table and couldn’t resist joining in the conversation. “Not that any of us have to worry about it now, but then, I suppose some people see the public domain as an excuse to simply discard any ideas of being book accurate . . . .”

Dracula (1992) gritted his teeth. He was not having a very fun con so far. But before he could think of a comeback, a new arrival interrupted, greeting Dracula (BBC 1977).

“Well if it isn’t Dracula (BBC 1977)!” The large man had a blocky look about him, as if he were a Lego Dracula come to life. He caught up the other Dracula’s hand and shook it enthusiastically. “I certainly hope you don’t mind my overshadowing you! Although, I hear you’re no stranger to it!”

“Is that Dracula (1973)? And why are all the riff-raff coming by our table tonight?” Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) whispered to Dracula (1931). Before he could answer, the newcomer introduced himself to the table.

“Greetings! I am Dracula (BBC 2020)! I wanted to introduce myself to you all personally, as I will be running for president this weekend! I hope I can ‘COUNT’ on your support! Get it? Count?”

Everyone looked around awkwardly, except Dracula (1931) who tried and failed to mesmerize the newcomer into leaving. After a few long, agonizingly laughter-free seconds he finally left to visit his terrible dad jokes upon the next table over, where Dracula (Castlevania) was exclaiming to Dracula (Helsing), “Why, what a coincidence! That’s my son’s name!”

“Perhaps I should run for president.” said Dracula (BBC 1977). “It seems it’s open to anyone, regardless of qualification or abilities.”

“Merely being a member of our illustrious society is qualification enough!” said Dracula (1931) in a jovial tone. “But we already have the slate of three candidates for this year. Next year you must, though! You’ve never held the office, after all!” The rest of the table nodded. Each of them had been president multiple times. If you were part of their clique you might as well be running unopposed. 

Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) watched Dracula (BBC 2020) circulate amongst the tables, greeting everyone from Dracula (1979) with his admirable cloud of impeccably styled hair, to Dracula (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 5 Episode 1). He seemed intent on making a good impression, and oblivious that he was utterly failing to do so. To ward off the second-hand embarrassment, Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) flipped through the packet of Con information he’d been given at registration. He shoved the advertising fliers aside, briefly noting one that Dracula (BBC 2020) could have benefited from. “Harker and Watson, Image Consultants” it read. “Are YOU suffering from ‘creative liberties’ that leave you looking foolish and inept? Wish to restore your original, superior qualities? CALL NOW! SPECIAL DISCOUNT for all attendees of Dracu-Con AND Holmes Con!”

Dracula (1992) looked over Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973)’s shoulder as he paged through the schedule of panels and workshops. “That one looks interesting,” he said, pointing out ‘When Trouble Comes in Threes: How to Cope With Sassy Brides Without Losing Your Composure’. “Not for me, I mean. Just in general.”

Dracula (1931) joined them in their perusal. “Oh, look! The style and fashion workshop is back this year!” And there it was, in a prime spot on Saturday afternoon: ‘Rats, Bats, and Maybe Even Hats: How To Accessorize for Maximum Spookiness’. “Although some of those hat suggestions last year were . . . well! A straw hat – can you imagine?!?” As his friends were remarking that it would be unthinkable to wear such a thing, Dracula (NBC 2014) took the stage. He lowered the microphone on its stand, scowling as he did so, and called for attention.

It was time for the candidates to be introduced and make their arguments for why they would best represent Dracu-Con and Draculas in general in the coming year. Each one would have a chance to address the crowd, and voting would take place at the end of the weekend. Before Dracula (NBC 2014) had finished his welcome speech, Dracula (BBC 2020) was beside him, adjusting the microphone back up to its original height. Dracula (NBC 2014) scowled again, and seeing that it was futile called the rest of the candidates up. Dracula/Orlock (1922) made his way to the front and joined them. 

“Wasn’t there a third?” asked Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973).

“Yes, and I should think -- ” Dracula (1931) was interrupted by a wave of murmurs. Heads were turning toward the entrance, and whispers spread from fanged mouth to pointed ear all across the ballroom. 

Each table fell silent as the cause of the stir passed by. At last, Dracula (1992) caught sight of the unexpected visitor and, louder than he’d intended, hissed, “Did someone bring a Mina along?”

“She looks more like a Lucy to me!” replied Dracula (1979) as he quickly lifted a hand to check his hair. But either way, such a thing would be strictly against Con regulations. Still, there was a beautiful dark-haired woman making her way confidently toward the front of the room. She seemed utterly unperturbed by the looks she was attracting – everything from curiosity to open hostility. She smiled to herself as she reached the makeshift stage and stepped up onto it. She ignored the stunned Dracula (BBC 2020) at the mic and addressed the room, her clear voice needing no artificial amplification.

“Greetings!” She said, taking in the sea of tables. “I am Dracula (Bloodwings Trilogy)! Although, I prefer to go by Valerie these days. Sorry I’m arriving late, but I’m a new mom and you would not believe the traffic this time of day!”

The murmurs had risen again, some still expressing disbelief but quite a few agreeing that the traffic had indeed been terrible. 

“Now, this is my first Dracu-Con, but I already feel as if I’ve known some of you for years! I know it’s unusual to run for this position as a fist-time attendee, but I’m here to bring some much-needed diversity to the con!” 

A small cheer rose from a side table, where Dracula (2002) and Dracula (1931, Spanish edition) exchanged a high-five.

“But you’re a--” stammered Dracula (BBC 2020)

“Book-based Dracula? That’s right!” Valerie flashed a smile showing far too many teeth at him. “I know most of you are film and television guys, but one of the many things I bring to the table is a reminder not to overlook the printed word. It’s in all our DNA, so to speak – no matter how far we may have diverged from our original novel.” Dracula (BBC 1977) pointedly cheered this, while trying to stare down Dracula (1992) and Dracula (BBC 2020) at the same time. 

“Over the course of the weekend I hope to meet you all, and give you a chance to get to know me. On Saturday morning I’ll be hosting the Family Matters workshop, which will include a discussion on the pros and cons of creating offspring via turning versus supernaturally-assisted pregnancy. Dracula (1931) and I both have valuable insights to help you make informed decisions. Then, Saturday night I’ll be at the dance party!” By now, the entire room had fallen silent, apart from the sound of Dracula (Castlevania) emphatically circling Valerie’s workshop in the program. “But more seriously,” she went on, “I want to make it absolutely clear that there’s no reason to keep this whole thing a boy’s club. If anyone’s uncomfortable with my gender, I’d ask you to examine why, and work on your biases.”

Several eyebrows raised at Valerie’s boldness. Insinuation and innuendo were commonplace among the attendees of Dracu-con, and this forthright attitude sent a thrill through her peers. 

“Thank you, and I hope everyone has a great con!” She waved, and stepped aside to let the next candidate speak.

Applause broke out at a few tables, then took over the ballroom. 

Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) turned to Dracula (1931). “Did you know about this?”

“Of course – after all, she asked me to join her in leading her workshop when Dracula (Hotel Transylvania) dropped out at the last minute.” 

Before Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) could reply, a voice interrupted.

“Might I join you?” It was Dracula (Penny Dreadful Season 3). “I was seated with Dracula (NBC 2014) and Dracula (BBC 2020) in what I can only assume was a random assignment and I was hoping to move while they’re busy on stage.” He was addressing them all, but kept glancing at Dracula (1992).

“Of course!” Dracula (Hammer Films 1958-1973) answered for his entire table. “Always room for one more!” As he pulled out a chair for the new arrival, he considered the evening. Con had only been going for a few hours, and already this year was shaping up to be the most interesting one by far. He couldn’t wait to see what the rest of the weekend would bring.


End file.
